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PillsHere's a pill for my broken heart,
A pill for my body parts,
I can never again call holy.
One for each day where I slowly,
Die again, again, and again.
And then,
A few more for each jail visit,
A handful as an alternative for the razors that used to sit,
On my wrist.
Half a bottle for all of the lies.
A bit more just so I can get by.
The rest for all of the tears and blood shed.
Oops, I'm dead.
The Land We Live OnI know of a land where young ones are corrupt,
Where the butterflies attempt to fly with broken wings,
But die in the process.
An outcast is just a ghoul in hiding.
Every loving word slurred never meant a thing.
The scars are always visible.
In this land it is always below zero.
Each day everyone knows that tomorrow will be the same,
Here lies no hope.
The soil covering the surface is poisoned.
Sometimes tongues are chopped off.
Slowly they all lose their mind.
The eldest ones are locked away to be hidden in the dark.
So many broken hearts, they cannot even be counted.
Memories are shunned with pills,
And obscure buildings that cause blood sh
Reality Has Taken Over:Love is a drug,
Combining the heart and mind,
Helping us find,
An illusion to get by.
But when it gets too strong and grows inside,
Of us we slowly die.
We've set ourselves up to fail.
There's no way to bail,
Out of this hell,
Our hearts are locked away in a cell.
This is cycle grows old,
As so do we.
Our souls grow cold,
We eventually throw out the key,
Our hearts are now in stray jackets.
We slowly loose our spirit,
The spirit that once lived for life,
But now it fights,
For the answer.
Old hope and understandings become a blur,
Reality has taken over.
Freaks ShowFingers scratching at my wrist,
Wanting a beautiful kiss.
The lips they know too well,
Gradually I feel my mind compelling,
Back to almost a month ago,
When I was still apart of the freak show.
Dancing on the stage,
With a pointy blade,
Focused on a luscious vein.
The oh's and ah's of the crowd causes pain,
I finally notice how different I really am.
I finally notice there is nothing I can,
Do to pick up the glass without getting cut.
I finally noticed that all I am is a nut.
I finally noticed that deep down I'm in the freak show for life,
I can no longer hide and fight,
The true me when it's thriving to come out.
In this moment I do doubt,
T
God of SuicideGod of Suicide:
You have trapped me in a nightmare,
Which there is no allowance for awake.
But it all turns out to be fair,
Due to all nails and a stake,
I've managed to receive.
Each thud of the hammer and each gash tells a different story.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lies and secrets stored in the closet,
Will come flying out and maybe my followers will find where to fit,
After years of hiding,
And secretly dying.
Death is the beautiful obscure truth,
And life is just the the hideous lie.
These darkened dreams you call sick sooth,
Us and is how we get by.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lie
SuicideLet me cry,
let me simply sit and die.
Don't treat me for my apathy,
don't treat me with your sympathy.
I don't deserve to gain,
I don't deserve to have no pain.
All I need is here,
all I need is cried in tears.
I want to cut much too close,
I want to have an overdose.
For every lie,
for every time I've said goodbye.
There's not a key,
there's not a way to set me free.
They wonder if I'm sane,
they wonder if it's all in vain.
Judge my fear,
judge my every blood-stained smear.
It really is morose,
it really is considered pretty gross.
I promise I won't sigh,
I promise I won't ask anyone why.
There's plenty I can't ever be,
there's plenty no one else can see.
I'll leave a stain,
I'll leave a horrid image in your brain.
My mind is clear,
my mind knows what to do from here.
Nothing left to diagnose,
nothing left but to say adios.
Why Deny it ?I can never be sorry enough, and neither can you
It's not my fault I do the nasty things I do
It naturally comes to me, never ask why
There are monsters inside me I need to kill
This cannot be cured simply with endless supply of pills
What is there left to destroy? I am destroying myself
Scarring my skin in the only solution
Don't ever tell me different, for I am too far lost
Falling
    Falling
           Into the nothingness of today
Swirling around in the dreams of yesterday
Wandering aimlessly, only to find the blade
Dropping into the vortex, that is my mind.
Cutting deeper and deeper, I am in control.
This is my only choice, so why de
On a ShadowIt occurred to me that
By a shadow's reckoning
I am the one that is cast.
And while his wakefulness
Is measured by the duration of the light
When we next meet I will have aged
And his emptiness will be the same.
Still our lives are so entwined
That we will wink out of existence together,
Swallowed by the greatest shadow of all.
I'm Your Worn Out DollYou whisper you love me and will never let go,
But the future happens to show,
Both of us covered in blood drawn by a knife.
Have you tried to count every promise you will break in your life?
Every word that you've said that meant nothing after the smoke cleared,
And you have seemed to veer,
Away from me as I have predicted.
It seems as if you have gotten addicted,
To throwing me in the back round, pulling me out when I am needed.
Every word you've pleaded,
To me will not help the fact I feel like a worn out doll.
I now know better then to fall,
Into the words and phrases you've said to everyone and have memorized...
It's as if t
Poor EyesBeautiful eyes that know nothing but lies,
And the feeling to die a bit inside every day.
She knows it has to be this way,
But she still fights.
Look me in the eyes,
And say you would have the courage to do the same.
None of this came,
To her in one day,
It all had to build up over years and years and years.
Every few weeks a new fear would develop.
Perhaps of a person or an action.
She drew herself away from all things loving,
Shoving herself towards the even darker side of life.
This just made her fight even harder,
And made her see the worst in everything,
Now she's giving up.
She's lost the courage she's been forced to keep,
She weeps in
Letters LiveThe middle three letters of the word “Earth”
Spell out the word “art”
This is fitting because when I create
The beauty of the world is where I start

The middle three letters of the word “believe”
Spell out the word “lie”
This is fitting because for all those who accede
There are an equal amount who deny

The middle three letters of the word “lonely”
Spell out the word “one”
This is fitting because I have felt isolated
Ever since you have been gone

The middle two letters of the word “life”
Spell out the word “if”
This is fitting because only when
My MindI'm afraid of my mind,
It always seems to find,
The wrong path.
Overpowering what is right,
All it wants is to end the pain.
But then again it loves to trick me,
It will never let me be.
This fight will go on and on and on.
I can never win,
And when all seems dim,
You make it worse.
You tell me to get the razor,
You tell me to get the pills,
You tell me to push them away,
You tell me to sway closer to suicide.
Why do you do this?
Don't you see I'm growing tired?
I can't take this much longer,
Living on the verge on death isn't easy,
Especially when you're already fucked up.
Tornado Of HellWhen it rains it pours,
Our brittle souls can't take anymore.
Death pounding at the door,
As if it was an angry neighbor.
Gradually it busts the door down,
Not making a scene or sound.
Escaping out of your chest,
Doing the best,
To be a tornado made of hell.
Doing well,
At hurting the surroundings.
You're running,
Meaning to show the scars,
But it has gone too far,
As you begin to burn everything in you path.
Other's still can't do the math.
They blame you,
Everything you do,
An excuse,
Can't be made.
The scars....Do you even want them to fade?
Tricked Nine Year Old MeThe nine year old me trusted you,
After all I have been through,
I thought you could be the light.
I gave up a fight against society,
And saw the beauty in you even through your mistakes,
But here you are again to make them over again.
You came back just to get what you craved.
I thought you could of saved me,
But instead your slowly letting me drown in doubt.
I can only imagine what you will do to her,
Due to your actions before.
Do you know how hard it is sleeping in the same bed the enemy was in?
Don't begin to try relive the past when I've already seen through your bullshit.
I know you are still the same,
I know what you are.
I know what
Far AwayI don’t see how you could want anything from me.
I’m cold and I’m gone and I won’t ever be
There for you, even though I know how you
Need me to; it’s what I want too.
But I’m lost in a land far away from all others.
It’s dark and unknown without my sisters and brothers,
So I scream out. Why am I lost in this way?
Why do I watch you all suffer and do nothing every single day?

I know that all that I am to the people around
Is a cruel twister of words who brings everyone down.
That’s all I am to me, at least.
But there are people who stick around this cruel beast.
So I can’t be all that terr
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×

My Choice.

:iconxxxstitchezxxx:

It does not matter,
That things will change to get better.
If I am not ready what is the point?
If my body happens to not be ruined then what is the point?
Yes I have lost the sparks in my eyes, but not my mind.
You act as if life is a race, rushing to find,
Myself and the part I lost.
I've fought,
To prove in life we live to form ourselves,
And this will not take a day...
Or even a month like you say.
Your battle is pointless.
This is my bod that I posses,
I being the host,
Should have the vote that counts the most.
My soul unaware of light,
Is amused by this fight,
It makes my life a bit more amusing.
I may seem like a confusing,
Fuck up to you,
But for me there is nothing else I can do,
I must continue on this path,
Do the math...
A decade,
Nothing will ever change.

445

42 23 3
:iconxxxstitchezxxx:

My Choice.by ~xXxstitchezxXx

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February 6
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:iconreizyouup:
~ReizYouUp Feb 24, 2013
Its a very nice, free flowing poem. I hope you feel better. Remember that it also affects those around you, though... If anything were to happen to you...
Reply
:iconxxxstitchezxxx:
~xXxstitchezxXx Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you and I know.. That's the only thing keeping me alive at the moment.
Reply
:iconreizyouup:
~ReizYouUp Feb 25, 2013
Really? Me too. That and I often worry that I'll only end up in a worse place... Good luck to you.
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:iconxxxstitchezxxx:
~xXxstitchezxXx Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks you too
Reply
:iconreizyouup:
~ReizYouUp Feb 25, 2013
Thank you.
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:iconxxxstitchezxxx:
~xXxstitchezxXx Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome :)
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:icontarvitus:
Mood: Love ~Tarvitus Feb 8, 2013
Really nice. There is a fine person called "Carl Friedrich Gaus" who might have felt like you were soulmates while reading this.
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:icontarvitus:
~Tarvitus Feb 8, 2013
*Gauss
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:iconxxxstitchezxxx:
~xXxstitchezxXx Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha thanks
Reply
:icontarvitus:
~Tarvitus Feb 9, 2013
You're very welcome :)
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