[x]

PillsHere's a pill for my broken heart,
A pill for my body parts,
I can never again call holy.
One for each day where I slowly,
Die again, again, and again.
And then,
A few more for each jail visit,
A handful as an alternative for the razors that used to sit,
On my wrist.
Half a bottle for all of the lies.
A bit more just so I can get by.
The rest for all of the tears and blood shed.
Oops, I'm dead.

Love To KillHe whispered in my ear, "Baby can I hug you around the neck?
Your eyes really brighten up when you cry,
Judging by the marks on your wrist you already want to die."

Trying to recover and stop loving you,
But my heart has a mind of its own,
And I can never find better then you.

"You deserve everything that's coming for you.
Everything you do makes me rageful,
I can barely stand to see you breathe.
Now blow me a kiss as you're on your knees."

Each bruise is a mistake, and truly made of love.
I know how his heart of stone really feels,
I just have to mine through the bitterness.

"You won't ever leave,
Don't you know what my dad did to me?
Yo

The Little Girl Of DeathSo many voices scream and shout,
Even in my dreams, and I start to doubt,
My reason for being here.
Every single fear,
That I developed is coming true,
And I cannot handle the truth.
I start to break down,
But I don't make a sound,
Except I'm screaming in the inside.
And this little girl locked away full of rage has no one to confide,
In. She's pounding against my chest,
But it's best,
To hide her from society.
She slowly and quietly,
Calms down......
Not suppose to make a sound.
Days later she shoots bullets through my heart,
Causing my breathing to increase and new scars.
I want to murder this little girl.
For over a deca

God of SuicideGod of Suicide:
You have trapped me in a nightmare,
Which there is no allowance for awake.
But it all turns out to be fair,
Due to all nails and a stake,
I've managed to receive.
Each thud of the hammer and each gash tells a different story.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lies and secrets stored in the closet,
Will come flying out and maybe my followers will find where to fit,
After years of hiding,
And secretly dying.
Death is the beautiful obscure truth,
And life is just the the hideous lie.
These darkened dreams you call sick sooth,
Us and is how we get by.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lie

Reality Has Taken Over:Love is a drug,
Combining the heart and mind,
Helping us find,
An illusion to get by.
But when it gets too strong and grows inside,
Of us we slowly die.
We've set ourselves up to fail.
There's no way to bail,
Out of this hell,
Our hearts are locked away in a cell.
This is cycle grows old,
As so do we.
Our souls grow cold,
We eventually throw out the key,
Our hearts are now in stray jackets.
We slowly loose our spirit,
The spirit that once lived for life,
But now it fights,
For the answer.
Old hope and understandings become a blur,
Reality has taken over.

Freaks ShowFingers scratching at my wrist,
Wanting a beautiful kiss.
The lips they know too well,
Gradually I feel my mind compelling,
Back to almost a month ago,
When I was still apart of the freak show.
Dancing on the stage,
With a pointy blade,
Focused on a luscious vein.
The oh's and ah's of the crowd causes pain,
I finally notice how different I really am.
I finally notice there is nothing I can,
Do to pick up the glass without getting cut.
I finally noticed that all I am is a nut.
I finally noticed that deep down I'm in the freak show for life,
I can no longer hide and fight,
The true me when it's thriving to come out.
In this moment I do doubt,
T

I'm Your Worn Out DollYou whisper you love me and will never let go,
But the future happens to show,
Both of us covered in blood drawn by a knife.
Have you tried to count every promise you will break in your life?
Every word that you've said that meant nothing after the smoke cleared,
And you have seemed to veer,
Away from me as I have predicted.
It seems as if you have gotten addicted,
To throwing me in the back round, pulling me out when I am needed.
Every word you've pleaded,
To me will not help the fact I feel like a worn out doll.
I now know better then to fall,
Into the words and phrases you've said to everyone and have memorized...
It's as if t

My MindI'm afraid of my mind,
It always seems to find,
The wrong path.
Overpowering what is right,
All it wants is to end the pain.
But then again it loves to trick me,
It will never let me be.
This fight will go on and on and on.
I can never win,
And when all seems dim,
You make it worse.
You tell me to get the razor,
You tell me to get the pills,
You tell me to push them away,
You tell me to sway closer to suicide.
Why do you do this?
Don't you see I'm growing tired?
I can't take this much longer,
Living on the verge on death isn't easy,
Especially when you're already fucked up.

My Choice.It does not matter,
That things will change to get better.
If I am not ready what is the point?
If my body happens to not be ruined then what is the point?
Yes I have lost the sparks in my eyes, but not my mind.
You act as if life is a race, rushing to find,
Myself and the part I lost.
I've fought,
To prove in life we live to form ourselves,
And this will not take a day...
Or even a month like you say.
Your battle is pointless.
This is my bod that I posses,
I being the host,
Should have the vote that counts the most.
My soul unaware of light,
Is amused by this fight,
It makes my life a bit more amusing.
I may seem like a confusing,
Fuck up to

I'm a MonsterMonsters are inside of me,
Monsters are the size of my jeans.
Monsters will never let me be.
Fighting against me and this thing I am forced to call a body.
Monsters are carbs,
I am the superhero with the power starve.
Monsters are the suspicious people around,
Monsters are the sounds,
Escaping my humongous stomach.
Monsters are horrid objects such as ovens.
Monsters are ugly and fat,
And I am just that.

Tornado Of HellWhen it rains it pours,
Our brittle souls can't take anymore.
Death pounding at the door,
As if it was an angry neighbor.
Gradually it busts the door down,
Not making a scene or sound.
Escaping out of your chest,
Doing the best,
To be a tornado made of hell.
Doing well,
At hurting the surroundings.
You're running,
Meaning to show the scars,
But it has gone too far,
As you begin to burn everything in you path.
Other's still can't do the math.
They blame you,
Everything you do,
An excuse,
Can't be made.
The scars....Do you even want them to fade?

Beautiful CovenAs I take your hand in this circle,
I no longer feel alone,
I've found where I belong,
And I grow strong.
Years on a vacant island,
But now I have returned home.

You drape a black robe as dark as the night sky,
Over my body as beautiful as a temple,
I see light twinkle in your eyes,
As you light the pink candle that resembles,
The love that is growing between the whole group.

We all link closing our eyes,
Saying chants to improve our lives,
Never will we cause harm,
Never will we follow the path of lust.
What we must do is give back.

Restore the tree branch we tore down,
Plant beauteous flowers in the ground.
And sit here in the angelic so

Sparkles In Your Eyes Keep Me AliveI keep myself alive,
Just to see the sparkles in your eyes.
I stop my blood,
From dripping to decrease your flood,
Of negativity and everything in between.
When this knife is ready to lean,
Against my chest to my heart I think of who it beats for.
Gradually you crack the code of me and cleanse my core.
I've must have said this already today,
Bit I cannot seem to say,
It enough anyways.
I love you,
And everything you do,
To save me and yourself.
I remember the words "I hate myself",
Escape your mouth... They hit me like bullets.
And I couldn't stand it,
Knowing blood was being shed,
And you could have been dead.
It's quite a

Poor EyesBeautiful eyes that know nothing but lies,
And the feeling to die a bit inside every day.
She knows it has to be this way,
But she still fights.
Look me in the eyes,
And say you would have the courage to do the same.
None of this came,
To her in one day,
It all had to build up over years and years and years.
Every few weeks a new fear would develop.
Perhaps of a person or an action.
She drew herself away from all things loving,
Shoving herself towards the even darker side of life.
This just made her fight even harder,
And made her see the worst in everything,
Now she's giving up.
She's lost the courage she's been forced to keep,
She weeps in

My Escape.Can't you see I'm sorry?
All you do is coldly,
Push me away,
Even though you know I'm halfway,
To dead, I'm sure you couldn't careless.
You were my escape from this darkness,
But now I'm drowning in my own mind.
I can't seem to find,
Another way, so I will live like this tomorrow and everyday.
I have a peculiar feeling you may,
Come back and toss me away,
Just like before.
Therefore,
I may never be able to let you in again.
Perhaps this is the end,
Although I will not be able to live with it.

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Mistakes

by ~xXxstitchezxXx, Feb 25, 2013, 3:44:05 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

All you see is the mistakes he made in the past,
But what I see is the way he treated me and my "family."
He was what I had,
Because I sure wasn't calling what I used to have a dad.
The history you were willing to throw away over a few of his mistakes.
But did you not see how much the little me needed someone like him?
He could of been the difference from now,
Wow.
Just think of it.
Maybe I wouldn't fucking hate men,
Maybe he would have been the one to believe me then.
Maybe he would of earned my trust,
But all you saw was that little mistake.
Not the improvement in my life he made,
And when he was sent away without a word said to me,
I began to shade in my world with dangerous ways,
That no child should ever be exposed to.
All of the things I would do,
And to think he could have helped me through it.
Anything would of helped.
A phone call, a letter, a visit.
But you didn't see it like that,
All you saw was an excon,
Not someone that could of saved your daughter.
But now the thought of any of this is slaughtered.